5 Simple Steps to Use Urge Surfing to Overcome Your Biggest Cravings Leave a comment

Have you ever had the feeling that your cravings are in charge of you? I definitely have. Whether it’s the pull of my cell phone’s siren call during family game night or the itch to check notifications and start scrolling before I’ve even rolled out of bed, cravings are compelling.

The good news? You don’t need to be held captive by your cravings. I just learned about a mindfulness technique called “urge surfing,” which has helped me break free from my cell phone addiction, and I believe it can help you with your most challenging cravings as well.

If you’re tired of feeling like your willpower is just a boat leaking water as it sails the sea of temptation, then read on. You’re about to learn a real-world way of surfing through your cravings—so they don’t control your life.

What is Urge Surfing? (And Why Does It Matter?)

Urge surfing is a mindfulness technique developed by psychologist Dr. Alan Marlatt. It’s a strategy for managing cravings and impulsive urges, whether that’s for junk food, social media, shopping, or the urge to procrastinate.

Instead of resisting or suppressing your cravings, urge surfing teaches you to ride the wave of your urge—paying attention to it without acting until it dissipates naturally.

If you want further information about the science and mindfulness of urge surfing, check out these resources:

Real World Examples: Where Do Cravings Strike?

Let’s be honest: cravings can be about more than food. They can strike at any time, in any place.

Here are some examples you may recognize in your own life:

• Phone Addiction: You’re supposed to be spending time with your children, but “just for a second” you check your phone—only to lose track of time. Ten minutes later, you come to your senses.
• Late-night Snacking: You know you aren’t really hungry, but you can almost hear the chips calling you from the pantry.
• Procrastination: You sit down to work on an assignment but somehow end up scrolling through social media or watching YouTube videos.
• Impulse Shopping: You went online to buy one item, but instead, you’re distracted by all the “recommended for you” deals.
• Negative Self-Talk: You feel the need to berate yourself after a slip, instead of learning from it and moving on.

For me, the biggest offender was my cell phone—especially in the morning. I used it as my alarm clock, which meant every day the first thing I did was check my notifications. Before I was aware of what was going on, I was scrolling away for half an hour before breakfast. Sound familiar?

Simple Steps to Use Urge Surfing in Your Life

Here is the step-by-step process I used (and you can use) to beat cravings for things like your phone, snacks, or anything else.

1. Notice the Urge

The first step is to notice when the urge is happening. Most of us live life on autopilot, especially with habits we want to change. The craving comes and you find yourself halfway through a bag of chips or caught up scrolling Instagram without even realizing it.

To break this loop, begin to notice the moments that you feel that pull. You may see yourself reaching for your phone because of a lull in the conversation. Or you may be walking past the kitchen and getting that familiar itch for a snack.

Action Steps:

• When you feel the urge, pause for a moment.
• Say to yourself, “I am noticing an urge to [insert your craving].”
• Write it down if you can, in a notebook, or in your notes app. (A bit meta, but I used to track my phone cravings with the help of my phone!)
• Leave a reminder or a sticky note in your most challenging spots: “Pause. Notice the urge.”

This step alone can change everything. You can’t change what you don’t notice.

2. Examine the Sensation

Now that you have noticed the urge, get curious about it. Instead of judging yourself or trying to push it away, think of it like a scientist studying a new phenomenon.

Ask yourself:

• Where do I feel the urge in my body?
• Is it a tightness in my chest? A buzzing feeling in my fingers? An unrelenting energy?
• What thoughts are racing through my mind?

For me, when I feel the urge to check my phone, I tingle all over my fingers. My mind races with, “What if I missed something important I need to respond to?” There is a combination of excitement, anxiety, and eagerness.

Action Steps:

• Take a slow breath and notice the sensations in your body.
• Describe what you are feeling either out loud or in your head.
• If you would like, write it down quickly: “tight chest, racing heart, urge to check phone.”

The goal is not to have all the urges disappear, but rather to see it clearly and allow it to be without reacting to it.

3. Ride the Wave

Here is where urge surfing gets its name. Imagine your urge as a wave in the ocean: the wave builds, gets bigger, peaks, and crashes on the shore.

Most urges only last a few minutes if you don’t feed them. But in the moment, they can feel like they last forever.

Action Steps:

• Set a timer for 5 minutes, and say to yourself, “I am going to ride this out for just five minutes.”
• As you wait, continue to be mindful of your urge, watching for how it changes—does it get stronger, weaker, or change to something else?
• Imagine yourself as a surfer, balanced on top of the wave, and letting it carry you while you avoid wiping out.
• Continue to remind yourself: “This is temporary, it will pass.”

If you are with someone (like your kids or your spouse), tell them what you are doing. Once my 9-year-old asked me why I was staring at my hands while taking a break from soccer—I told him I was “surfing my phone urge.” He thought it was funny, but it helped with accountability!

If five minutes go by and you still have a strong urge, set another timer. Oftentimes, just putting off an action is enough for the wave to dissipate.

4. Breathe and Refocus

Breathing is not only for yoga. Deep, slow breaths give your brain and body time to reset. In that moment, it’s a pause on your urge.

Action Steps:

• Try “box breathing”: Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat a few times. Here’s a simple guide to box breathing.
• As you breathe, imagine the urge is shrinking with every exhale.
• Then shift your focus back to what you were doing before the urge. If you were in a conversation with your family, jump back into the talk or shared activity. If you were working, take a small action step on the next task.
• If it’s tough, move! Stand up, stretch, or walk to a different room. Movement can help shake the urge cycle.

Breathing and moving help you center yourself and deal with your present moment instead of being overwhelmed with the craving.

5. Reflect and Celebrate

After the wave passes, take a minute to reflect. This is where the magic happens.

Ask yourself:

• How did it feel to ride out that urge?
• What helped? What did not?
• How do you feel now, compared to before?

Pat yourself on the back! Most people do not even bother to resist their urges, let alone resist successfully. Every time you surf a craving—even if you only last for a couple of minutes—you are building up your “willpower muscle.”

Action Steps:

• Write a quick line in a journal: “Surfed the urge to check my phone. Lasted 7 minutes. Felt proud of myself.”
• Celebrate in some little way. Maybe it means you give yourself a “level-up” in that habit tracker app you have. Or you simply smile and say to yourself, “Good job!”
• If you did slip or gave in to the urge, do not beat yourself up. Ask yourself, “What could I do differently the next time?” And remember that every wave is an opportunity to practice.

These reflections add up over time. You will start to notice those urges sooner, ride them out longer, and feel more in control.

Recap: Are You Ready to Ride the Next Craving?

Cravings are inevitable, whether you are trying to eat healthier, focus better, or (like me) reduce phone time and be more present with your family. Urge surfing is a simple, practical, and science-based way of regaining that control.

Remember: Notice the urge, examine the sensation, ride the wave, breathe and refocus, reflect and celebrate.

If you want a quick win, try an experiment tomorrow morning. Don’t use your phone as an alarm. Here’s why that’s so powerful.

You will be pleasantly surprised how much more present and in charge you will feel with both your mornings and your cravings.

So the next time you feel a prompting urge, don’t fight it. Grab your surfboard, and ride it.

You can do this. And if you wipe out? Even the best surfers wipe out sometimes. The important thing is to get back on that board and ride again.