A Simple Framework for Making Important Decisions | Leave a comment
Are you the kind of person who has ever felt paralyzed in indecision, thinking about the same scenario, over and over?
Does your inner critic cause you to take in all possible outcomes, second-guessing everything before ultimately getting stuck in self-doubt?
If you’ve ever wanted to find a way to cut through the noise and make better decisions with more self-trust and clarity, you are not alone.
Decision making can feel unmanageable and overwhelming, especially when negative self-talk, procrastination, and the fear of making the wrong move sink in.
But what if there was a framework that inspired you to rewire the inner critic in your head, prioritize emotional wellness, and help you to make better decisions?
What is the 5-5-5 Rule and How Does It Work?
The 5-5-5 Rule is a simple but effective tool to encourage more self-trust and take the edge off in decision making. The big idea is stop and ask yourself three questions before going into the decision-making process:
- Will this matter in 5 minutes?
- Will this matter in 5 months?
- Will this matter in 5 years?
By considering what impact your decision will have in the moment, then in the medium term, and then in the long term, you can begin to visualize the outcome and avoid the temporary loop of your emotions and inner critic influencing your decision making. This process allows you step back from the energy in the moment and consider your options with a more positive lens.
This can be particularly helpful if you find yourself spiraling into negativity or overwhelmed with self doubt. Rather than allowing fear or anxiety to dictate your behavior, the 5-5-5 Rule encourages you to look at the bigger picture and make decisions that are related to your health and personal growth.
The Reasoning Behind the 5-5-5 Rule
The reason the 5-5-5 Rule is so effective is based on how our brains process emotions and make decisions while stressed.
Studies have shown that when we feel stress or anxiety, our brains typically focus on short-term implications or discomforts while ignoring long-term well-being. A study in Nature Communications found that emotional arousal can lead us to hone in on immediate impacts, which makes us more likely to choose options that may relieve us of discomfort but are not actually in our best interests long-term.
Another study in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making examined that when we take a step back to consider long-term effects of our choices, we tend to make better, more rational, values-based decision. This is exactly what the 5-5-5 Rule makes you do.
By actively getting out of your immediate emotional reaction, and thinking about the larger time frame, you can lessen the effects of negative inner dialogue and self-criticism. This will also aid your emotional wellness, but will also help you enhance your self-confidence and resiliency when facing tough decisions!
Using the 5-5-5 Rule: A Step-By-Step Strategy
Using the 5-5-5 Rule is simple, but it takes intention and practice. Here is a clear tutorial on how to navigate this framework when you are presented with a difficult decision.
1. Take a Moment to Pause and Check Your Emotional State
Before you then implement the 5-5-5 Rule, as a first step, pause and check your emotional state. Are you feeling anxious, frustrated and overwhelmed? Is your inner critic going off on a tirade of negative self-talk?
Example: Maybe you’re about to send an upset email because of an upset at work. You feel angry and you want to make your point as quickly as possible.
Action Item: Take a few calming breaths to acknowledge your feelings. Remind yourself that you don’t need to react immediately. Pausing gives you the opportunity to break an emotional cycle of reactionary decision-making. In this way, you create space for potential rewiring of your thoughts.
2. Ask Yourself the Three Questions
Now, you can apply the 5-5-5 Rule. For the decision you are contemplating ask yourself:
- Will this matter in 5 minutes?
- Will this matter in 5 months?
- Will this matter in 5 years?
Example: You feel upset about a cutting comment made by a co-worker. Ask yourself if you will feel the same way about this comment in five minutes, maybe it will feel painful still in 5 months and completely unimportant in five years. My guess is that you will move on from the comment and it will never get in the way of your career or self-worth.
Action Item: Write your answers down. Once you see your thoughts on paper, you’re better able to gain distance and perspective from the emotions of the moment.
3. Consider the Bigger Picture
Once you have the answers to the questions, consider what matters most to you for the long term. Are you making this decision because it aligns with your values, goals, and personal development? Or are you responding to immediate discomfort?
Example: You are thinking about quitting a new hobby because you feel you are not doing it well enough. Are you going to regret quitting it in five years time, or are you going to be glad you persevered enough to improve?
Action Item: Determine which outcome means the most to you in terms of long-term happiness and self-confidence, and use this to inform your Next Steps, rather than allowing self-doubt and negative self-talk to dominate your decision.
4. Make a Choice Based on Perspective, Not Perceived Pressure
Armed with your answers and reflections, choose the action that serves your long-term wellbeing and emotional wellness. The goal is not to do everything without discomfort, but to make decisions that support your learning and mental health.
Example: Rather than sending that angry email, you decide to wait to address the issue once you have calmed down, or you choose to remain in the hobby class knowing that progress, like building self-confidence, takes time.
Action Item: Stand by your choice and give yourself credit for using intention in your choice rather than impulse. This simple act can change your thinking and build your self-confidence over time.
5. Practice Self-Compassion, and Learn from the Result
It is worth remembering that there is no perfect decision-making guide, and you may not always make the right choice. What is important is that you are making an effort to stop internal self-talk and self-criticism.
Example: Maybe you made a choice that did not go as planned. Rather than beat yourself up, congratulate yourself for trying to apply the 5-5-5 Rule and ask what you might learn for next time.
Action Item: Practice self-compassion. Remind yourself that personal growth is a journey, and every decision gives you a chance to learn and move forward with a more positive mindset.
Final Thoughts on the 5-5-5 Rule
The 5-5-5 Rule is a simple yet all-encompassing strategy for making decisions with clarity, self-confidence and emotional wellness. You can silence the internal critic and escape your cycle of negative self-talk by pausing to ask the three guiding questions when you make decisions and consider what matters most to you.
Remember: every decision is an opportunity to rewire your thinking and develop a more positive mindset, no matter how big or small it may be. So, the next time you are faced with a difficult decision, try the 5-5-5 Rule. With practice you will find yourself making decisions that maintain your mental health, develop your self-confidence and aid your personal growth.
Do something today: the next time you feel stuck, pause, ask yourself the three questions, and choose your best outcome. Your future self will be grateful!
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