How I Started Reading Lots of Books Again (Even Though I’m Busier Than Ever) Leave a comment

Reading is something I’ve always loved but over the last few years, I read less and less. Between building my business and raising little ones, I struggled to find the time.

In this episode, I’m sharing how I recently got back into the habit of reading even though I’m busier than ever. I talk about the role that perfectionism was playing, how I let go of my excuses and created an easy-to-stick-to reading habit that didn’t involve any force or pressure. This episode is full of practical advice so be sure to tune in today. 

To dive deeper: Want an easy way to find out if perfectionism is stopping your business from growing? Take The Perfectionism Quiz today – it’s free, takes less than 3 minutes and gives you a personalised report that lays out the simple steps you can take to get out of your own way. Take the quiz now at samlaurabrown.com/quiz.

For more advice: Follow me on Instagram – I’m @perfectionismproject – for more behind-the-scenes insights and support with getting out of your own way in your business.

For full support: Ready to get out of your own way in your business? Join the waitlist for my productivity program – Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (aka PGSD) – at samlaurabrown.com/pgsd. Inside PGSD you’ll master our simple, proven process for getting shit done without burning out so you can finally get your business off the ground.

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FULL EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

Introduction

Hi, and welcome to another episode of The Perfectionism Project. A podcast full of perfectionism advice for entrepreneurs. My name is Sam Laura Brown, I help entrepreneurs release their perfectionism handbrake, so they can get out of their own way and build a fulfilling and profitable business. I’m the founder of the Perfectionists Getting Shit Done group coaching program, which is otherwise known as PGSD. And for even more perfectionism advice to help you with your business, you can follow me on Instagram @perfectionismproject.

Sam Laura Brown (Intro to the episode)

I wanna do a quick intro for this episode because this episode wasn’t actually intended to be an episode. So I posted on Instagram a few weeks ago now; I’m @perfectionism project, if you aren’t following me there yet. I posted about how I’ve been reading so many more books and really just got over a lot of the excuses that I had about not having enough time because I have little kids and all of that. And I asked if people wanted to hear how I made that shift. And so many people said yes.

So I was just recording myself, talking it out to get out of my head what the actual shifts were. Like, how did I go from reading maybe, like, one book a year, starting a few books, not finishing them? Even though I love reading, I wasn’t doing it from a place of should. Like, I love love love love reading books, and yet that wasn’t being reflected in my actions. And how did I go from that to now regularly finishing books, being able to just feel like I can say in good conscience, yes.

I am actually a reader. I do read books. So I wanted to document that so much of it was related to perfectionism that I had around reading and around time and different things like that. And so I hope it’s really helpful for me to just go through what those shifts were. If you were someone who wants to be reading more books, but you don’t wanna do it with the pressure of, like, forcing yourself to read or, like, having to read a certain number of pages per day or, like, any of those things, if you just wanna actually have the desire to read and find yourself reading even though you’ve got a busy life, this episode is gonna be really helpful for you.

So we’re gonna clean it up a bit because I was just, like, chatting and saying whatever to just try and document the ideas, but I hope you find it really helpful.

Sam Laura Brown

So number one is that when it has come to, basically, the decision to read again and to be committed to that and shifting out of I’ll do it if I have time and going into, like, I’m actively going to make time, and I’m willing to solve for anything that’s sent in the way of me having time for reading. I think a big part of it is just connecting back to and just noticing even with, friends and things like that. Just in general, I really have a strong identity around being a book lover and someone who reads books and loves books, and yet I wasn’t actually reading really at all. And it would take me, like, six months to finish a book if if I even read one.

So I also was having a lot of perfectionism come up, which I’ll talk about specifically, but it was really just the desire to do something that just felt like me, and reading just always feels very much like me no matter what I’m reading. Typically, personal development or fiction or whatever, I feel more connected with myself. I feel very energized and, like, recharged by reading, and I just really have always enjoyed reading books. So it started with that desire. It wasn’t from a place of should or, like, people in like, with successful businesses read this amount per day or anything like that.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but for me, like, I’m not there’s anything wrong with, like, introducing yourself to reading if it’s something you’ve never done but you wanna do more of for whatever reason. But for me, the reason was just, like, having time doing something that felt like me and just noticing even reading fifteen minutes a day had a dramatic impact on how connected with myself that I felt. Like, it just felt like really honoring something that was important to me and prioritizing myself, and it didn’t need to take much time to do that for me to feel that way. So I just really, like, recommitted to reading books and not just starting them and maybe finishing them, but, like, I’m gonna start reading. From that point, I then looked at really diving into, like, what is standing in the way of me reading And where am I getting stuck with reading?

Obviously, when you have the generic, like, I don’t have enough time, that is common to have. But, really, it’s just that I wasn’t making time, and I wasn’t making time because of a few certain things. One is that I hadn’t really accessed the resourcefulness or permission to read at certain times. So I was kind of just telling myself, I can only read my book when the kids are napping or when Steve’s at work, and it’s not time for me and Steve to hang out, and it’s not time for me and the kids. But, also, something I noticed was that I really want my kids to know me, and even though they’re still quite little at the moment, that I want them to see me doing things I enjoy doing and not think that my hobbies are playing magnet tiles with them or pushing them on the swing.

Like, I also have other things I enjoy doing, and they love reading, and I wanna, like, foster a love for reading in them. But, also, I just want them to know me and to see what I enjoy doing and that I enjoy doing lots of different kinds of things. So I needed to basically, like, redefine when I was allowed to read and what that could look like. So instead of just only being able to read during nap time, and then that was the only time I also had in my head to be able to exercise and to be able to do certain other things, it just felt so much harder. But when I was like, actually, I can read while they’re away, I can read, like, if they’re playing something, and now they are at an age where they can play together.

I have a almost four year old and a twin two year olds and a baby other way. They can play together a bit more as well. So it’s just updating, like, actually, I am in a different season now with different circumstances, and my brain was kind of thinking I still have essentially, like, very small twins and a toddler, but I don’t anymore. So there’s that. Sometimes our brain just doesn’t recognize we’re not in the same circumstances that we once were in.

And it’s not that this wouldn’t have applied then, but I think there’s also just power in acknowledging that, circumstantially, I am in a different situation. So the story I have that I don’t have time for reading isn’t even if it was ever true, it’s not as true as it used to be circumstantially. So there was that too, but just being like, I can actually read while the kids are playing. I can read like, instead of me hanging out with Zeep, I can read. I can read.

So we usually watch two episodes of Bluey before bed. I can read while they’re watching Bluey. I don’t need to sit there and watch the same episodes of Bluey I’ve already seen. And I can if I want, but I can also have that, like, fifteen minutes to just read on the couch next to them. So that’s already just by reading instead of watching with them, that’s already, like, over an hour of reading every week and just a trigger for me as well that when it’s time, that’s when I’m reading.

So those things really helped just opening up when I was allowed to read, getting out of the mindset that I need to be able to read a big chunk of the book, like, I need the full hour. And, also, like, the more open you are to seeing you don’t need that much time, if you actually record yourself reading for an hour, like, that’s a very significant chunk of reading time. So what I tend to do is a couple things that help with this. One is if I can swing it and whether that’s if I wake up early rather than, like, fluffing around the house, I will read my book or different things like that. Like, there are pockets where I have a more significant time to read if I’m waiting for Steve to get home from work, but the kids are already in bed, stuff like that, and just being mindful.

I’m not gonna be scrolling or doing that, starting to have the habit of I’m gonna go to my book. But having a bigger chunk of time or, like, getting through the first fifty or so pages as quickly as possible is really helpful. If I’m not get into a book, like, I haven’t I’m still trying to figure out what the premise is, who the characters are, particularly mainly reading fiction. So if I haven’t gotten, like, invested in the story, then it just requires more effort to go and pick up the book. So I like to try and get through the first fifty pages as quickly as I can and really think about that 50 pages differently to the rest of the book.

And similar to the end of the book, I got this from Cal Newport. He had a few great YouTube videos about how to read more and how he reads five books per month and just, like, how he thinks about reading. And one thing he said was, like, having a little when you’re close to finishing the book, doing a final push to get it done kind of rather than, like, chipping away at the end. So if you can, do a bigger reading session to get it completed and see it over the finishing line. And this isn’t like you have to think of it this way forever, but just, like, while you’re developing the habits.

But I found that really helpful to have that initial dive in and then also having a push at the end of the book to, just keep that momentum going as well. So there’s that. The other thing is that to really just get back into reading, I let go of any, like, this is what you should read or, like, recommendations for books that I think I will find interesting, but I don’t actually feel particularly into reading. Then I kinda just let go of that. I was like, I’m just gonna read whatever I feel like.

And if that’s, like, super easy light books to read, I’m gonna let myself read that. I don’t have to read anything too deep or, like, that requires lots of mental energy, especially getting back into the habit. I don’t wanna have books that require a lot of mental energy because sometimes, like, I do need to have a book. And I found actually having a couple of books on the go can be really helpful because sometimes I’m really enjoying the book, but, actually, I don’t I’m just not in the mood for that kind of book. So, for example, I was reading The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah, and I really did enjoy, if that’s the right word for that kind of book, enjoyed that book.

But because it’s such a heavy book with the context of war and things like that, that if I’d had a a really long day with the kids or whatever, I just didn’t feel like reading a a like, an emotionally heavy book. I wanted something more, like, light and fun to read and, like, more of an escape, so to speak. So I stopped reading that book and picked it up about six months later and finished it, but I think just having a, like, a lighter book and a heavier book, it doesn’t have to be, like, a fiction and a nonfiction, but, like, something that’s easy to read and then something that’s a bit, that you still have the desire. It’s not from this place of, like, should or whatever, but it could be a bit more complex or intricate or emotionally taxing that I just find that having a couple of books on the go is really helpful to be able to read when I want to read, but not be forced to read something I’m really not in the mood for. So there’s that.

I also just invested some time into actually, like, getting, like, figuring out what I want to read because I found, like, when I had if I had time to read, I wouldn’t because I just didn’t even know what I wanted to read because I’d gotten so many different books. I had so many different recommendations, and I kinda felt like as well the less I read, the more pressure I felt to actually read something that was definitely gonna be good, which is a perfectionist thing for sure. So what I did instead, I just was like, I’m going to restart my Goodreads and, like, actually tracking what I’m reading, and so I know exactly what I’m reading and what I’m not reading. I had been using Goodreads, but I had so many like, any book essentially that I’d started, I had put under reading. And then I found that I had, like, eight books that I was reading.

That’s too many to be clear about what I’m actually reading. And, also, a lot of these books are like, I don’t even think I wanna finish that book. I there’s some perfectionist really certainly, like, if once they started, they feel like they have to finish it, and they won’t allow themselves to do anything else, but I have not been in that perfectionist thought pattern. When it comes to reading, I’m really willing to just stop reading a book, even if there’s 50 pages left. If it’s shit, I’m just not gonna finish it.

And that’s I call that complete. I don’t feel any, like, bad feelings about it. I will say at the 50 page to go mark, I, like, wouldn’t usually make it to that point unless it’s a decent book, but I’m just willing to be like, okay. That book’s not for me or not for right now, and I’m just gonna call it complete. So I went into Goodreads, and I actually just, like anything that was half like, I’d started, but I really didn’t actually have the intention to finish.

I just put back into, like, want to read, and I just left in my reading category. Like, I think it was just, like, one or two books I was actually committed to finishing. So part of that was, again, letting go, like, oh, but I should finish it because I started it. I technically am reading it or whatever. Just like, actually, what am I gonna what am I committed to finishing if it’s good?

I just let that be the new, like, having one or two books in my currently reading, or if I have three, there might be a lighter book, a heavier book, and then an audiobook as well. So I had been telling myself a story that I didn’t like listening to fiction books on, like, the audiobooks because it, like, I found that if I just zoned out and because if I’m listening while I’m, like, driving or whatever, something like you hear something, your brain just wanders, and then you’re like, I don’t even know who I don’t even know what’s happening in this book anymore. And I listened to Harry Potter on audiobook. Amazing. But, basically, anything else, I just started telling myself this story that I can’t do fiction audiobooks.

And I have a book club with a few friends, and we were talking about I was like, I’m actually just gonna, like, challenge my thought about that because it’s feeling really restrictive, and I would like to be able to read not just nonfiction on audiobooks, but fiction too. And so I read a book, Society of Lies, and then I read what else was it? Project Hail Mary, I read with the audiobook. And when I changed my thoughts, like, actually, I I enjoy reading fiction on an audiobook, I enjoyed it. I could keep up.

Like, I didn’t choose anything crazy heavy, to read or, like, requiring lots of concentration. And that was really great too, just having another option to read, and I let that count as a book. So that’s the other thing is that me perfectionist can be like, well, we have these rules, and if it doesn’t meet the rules, it doesn’t count. And then just, like, discredit ourselves or keep us apart from the actions and identity that we wanna have just because of some made up rule. Like, an audiobook doesn’t count.

It has to be, like, a physical book that I read for it to count. I’m not like there’s no book police that I’m trying to appease. Like, I just actually wanna read and have like, I love the long form of stories. And so I don’t see why I think it count or not count. So I tracked them this in Goodreads the same as I do a physical book as well.

And I like reading a mix because there’s a lot of times I love just having a physical book. No. It’s, like, so low stimulus compared to screens and things like that. I just sit on the front deck super nice, doing that. And other times, like, while I’m driving, instead of, like, listening to podcasts only, it’s like, I actually wanna listen to a book, and I do that.

So there’s that. Basically, the theme of this is just, like, opening up all the rules that I had about what it should be like. So there’s that also just, like, having the book easily accessible. So, like, leaving it on the kitchen island or just, like, out in plain sight was really helpful too just so I had that extra prompt to read it. And, also and this isn’t, like, a revolutionary idea, but it was helpful to hear.

Cal Newport, again, was the one who recommended this, but he just said about, like, having your own little ritual or, like, making reading as enjoyable as possible. And so just sitting out on my front deck and just having a cup of tea or whatever or some music if I want to, but we have a really beautiful, like, outlook from our front deck that we live on acreage with lots of trees. It basically is like a treehouse when you’re on our front deck, and we have this really high range ceiling, and it’s just, like, I feel surrounded by nature when I’m there. So doing that as well and just, like, having little places that I like reading, it’s mainly there or just upon, like, wherever works if I’m looking after the kids at the same time. And I’m still obviously, I’m not, like, deep in reading if I’m also supervising them, playing in our sample or things like that.

But I can read enough, and, yeah, I just have allowed myself to do that and just seeing how as well the more I’ve done that, the more into reading they have been. Or like, mommy, here’s your book and things like that, that it just has been really nice to to see and to, like, allow myself to have hobbies and other things I like doing while looking after the kids and not, like, compartmentalizing. There’s things I do when I’m with the kids, which is all about them. And then in my personal time, so to speak, when they’re asleep or they’re completely occupied or whatever, then I can do other things. It’s just like, actually, I would love them to know me, and I would love them to see me doing that and to also encourage them to do that if they want or, like, ask me about what I’m feeding and things like that.

So that has been really helpful. And, yeah, I think they’re the main things. Basically, I don’t have any set rules around, like, minimums. I don’t have like, it has to be ten minutes a day or it has to be fifteen minute 15 pages or something like that. And in the past, I found that kind of thing can be helpful at times.

And I know that just, like, if you read a 300 page book, for example, 10 pages a day is one book per month. But what I wanted to do is just, like, let myself be in a rhythm with it, not have any strict expectations of, like, I’ve gotta finish a book every week or things like that, but actually having a just like, I’m a reader, and that means I read books. And I just wanna circle back to something else that I said earlier, which is about taking time to set up Goodreads. So what I did when I did that, there’s a lot of book YouTubers. I don’t really follow anyone in the book YouTube space, but I was like, I’m just feeling stuck.

So this is all, like, noticing where the stuckness is and solving it. And to me, that was pain with perfectionist thoughts I used to solve for and a few practical things. And one of them was, like, I don’t actually know what I wanna read or if I even did finish this book, what I’d read next, and I feel like it’s kinda how I feel with shows, so I could apply this there with TV shows that I go into this, like, book limbo anytime I finish a book. So it’s essentially like I’m punished for finishing a book because I have to go back into this book limbo and be like, what do I wanna read? So I just went on YouTube and also listened to a few different videos from people about how they read stuff like that.

Also, like, people’s recommendations for specific books, and I just got, like, enough recommendations that I could start somewhere and then go with it also. And if I like an author, I just read more of their books. So I’ve read three Sally Hepworth books. I read, as I said, The Nightingale by Kristen Hannah. Now I’m reading The Women, which I actually got as a gift maybe two years ago now, but just hadn’t read.

So things like that. And, also, last thing I will say is that I have started going to the library again, not just for the kids because we’re going for the kids, but also for myself, and just putting books on hold, going and picking them up, reading them. And not because there’s a time frame because my library, it’s thirty days. You have to borrow it. And unless it’s super popular, it just auto renews after that.

So you still have, like, a good two months to read it. So it’s not like any time pressure or things like that. But when I wasn’t reading much, it didn’t make sense to borrow a book because it would take me six months to finish. And, also, it was fine to buy one new book a year for the for which is $15. But when I was like, I’m actually wanting to really be a prolific reader, like, have reading really be something that I’m regularly doing again, it was like, well, I don’t want to buy, like, spend, I don’t know, like, 50 to a hundred dollars per per month on fiction books.

I do prefer to buy the nonfiction books. I’ve done an episode way back, but my system’s still very similar. For when I read a nonfiction book, like, highlighting it and tapping it mainly to just keep me engaged. I don’t write book reviews of things. I don’t, like, try and capture every insight.

I just love, like, being engaged with a nonfiction book in a certain way, and I still do that with nonfiction, so I will tend to buy nonfiction. But for fiction, I often end up just giving it to friends anyway who are readers. Like, I really like this, and then I don’t sometimes it comes back to me. Sometimes it doesn’t. I don’t really care because I’m unlikely to read a fiction book twice unless it was an absolute standout.

But now that I’m reading a lot more, it just doesn’t make sense to me to, like, accumulate that many books when it’s fiction. Nonfiction, I’m much more likely to reread. And as I said, I also, like, highlighted all of that, which you can’t do with a library book with a good conscience. So I just, like, rein essentially, like, reinstated my in my head, my like, that I go to the library. Like, I’ll go when I’m there with the kids, I’ll go around and, like, browse, and that sounds leisurely.

It’s like a three minute whip around while while they’re contained while this food was still willing to sit in the prance, which they are almost nearly grown out of completely. But I’ll go have a look, and, like, I’ll look on Goodreads and just see, like, what’s the vibe of this book ideally above four stars. And then I’ll be like, cool. That’s good enough, and I will read that. So there’s that as well.

And just, like, simple things like this can actually be such a big blow up, but, like, I didn’t know how to log in to my account and put a book on hold. Even though it’s very basic, I just, like, hadn’t done that in, weeks a decade. So just like, okay. I’m gonna click around and, like, familiarize myself with how to do that so that I know that if I see a book and I wanna read it, but it’s not available right away, I can actually put it on hold. So just practical things, but mainly mindset perfectionist stuff that just had me feeling like like making it so hard to do something that’s actually very simple.

And I just wanna wrap up by saying if you have time to scroll, you have time to read. And, also, this is only about, like, if it is something you actually wanna do. I don’t think everyone needs to read. Don’t read if you don’t want to. But if you’re someone like me who wants to, if you feel connected with yourself, for whatever reason when you read, it is worth prioritizing, especially if you’re in a season where you have competing priorities.

It is worth prioritizing, and that will mean letting go of stories you have and just really gaining self awareness around what’s stopping you from reading, like, the specific things, not just a general, I don’t have enough time, but why specifically. And if you did have a whole day to read, would you actually even be able to do that, or would you get stuck or waste that time or end up doing something else because you just don’t have clarity on what you’re reading or where you’re gonna get it from, all those certain things? So, yeah, I hope that is very helpful.

Outro

If you enjoy this podcast, I recommend signing up for the waitlist for my program called Perfectionists Getting Shit Done (aka PGSD). This is a program designed to help you get out of your own way in your business. You’re gonna learn how to release your perfectionism handbrake by setting a growth goal for your business, planning properly as a perfectionist with Power Planning and getting regular guilt-free clean rest. You’ll learn the skills required to get out of your own way and be supported every step of the way to do it.  

While the doors to PGSD are currently closed, they will be opening again soon. So to find out more about the program and join the waitlist today, go to samlaurabrown.com/pgsd.